You've all probably heard of S&M (Sadism & Masochism) but let me introduce you to S&M's big, bad, older brother... BDSM!

According to Wikipedia, BDSM is defined as a type of roleplay or lifestyle choice between two or more individuals who use their experiences of pain and power to create sexual tension, pleasure, and release. The compound acronym, BDSM, is derived from the terms bondage anddiscipline (B&D, B/D, or BD), dominance and submission (D&s, D/s, or Ds), sadism and masochism (S&M, S/M, or SM).

In a traditional BDSM role, there are Doms (Dommes for females) (Dominants) and subs (submissives) with the roles being gender neutral. In other words, a Dominant can be male or female, while a submissive can be female or male.  There are also switches, those that have fun playing either the role of the dominant or submissive.

Most people view BDSM as a bedroom only experience where rough sex, spankings, and maybe even a little hand cuffing and whipping brings a little fun and excitement to the table when the usual vanilla stuff (traditional sex) gets dull.  

Some people view BDSM as a lifestyle and there are a sizable number of 24/7 relationships that have a Dominant/submissive (D/s) dynamic.  You may not know it, but the couple down the street may follow a strict D/s role where one person in the relationship is in charge, and the other person does his or her bidding!

You may think that this sort of dynamic only takes place in foreign countries where religion or culture encourages such behavior, but this just isn't the case.  Many women that are strongly into feminism in the U.S. enjoy being under the control of a Dom, while many "macho" men, perhaps CEOs, football players, etc. get off on being told what to do and being put in their place by a woman!

One thing that is ALWAYS happening in a true D/s relationship is that there is total consent between partners to have unequal roles.  A submissive male in a relationship with a Dominant woman fully consents to whatever degrading actions the woman may think is necessary, and the same goes for a submissive woman in a relationship with a Dominant male.  Trust and knowing the limits are crucial in relationships like these, and at times some submissives have a safe-word which they can use in situations where they feel their limits or boundaries are pushed to the point of being unsafe mentally, physically, or spiritually.

Want to learn more about BDSM?  One good place to start is the Wikipedia entry on BDSM!  It's full of great links and the information contained in it is exceptional!